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| Released: |
2010 |
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| Genre: |
ADVENTURE
FANTASY
FAMILY
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| Origin: |
US |
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| Colour: |
C |
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| Length: |
101 |
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Abysmal Harry Potter rip-off. |
Reviewed by Chris Tookey
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Maybe if you’re aged between eight and twelve, or exceptionally dim-witted, you may not notice that this is a tenth-rate rip-off of Harry Potter, with Greek mythology taking the place of magic.
So instead of trainee wizards Harry, Hermione and Ron, we get demi-god Percy (Logan Lerman), brainbox Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario) and comic relief satyr Grover (Brandon T. Jackson).
Instead of Hogwarts, there’s a summer training camp for demi-gods. Sword-fighting takes the place of quidditch. Instead of Harry’s enemy Draco Malfoy, there’s a rival demi-god called Luke, who I think is meant to be Lucifer – not a character out of Greek mythology at all, but never mind.
For wise headmaster Dumbledore, substitute Chiron the centaur, played by Pierce Brosnan, who looks even more ill-at-ease on four legs than he did in Mamma Mia, on two.
Instead of King’s Cross railway station as the portal to a parallel world, we get an entrance to Mount Olympus at the top of the Empire State Building. And so on.
As long as you don’t expect wit, humour, charm or a logically worked-out story, this movie may pass the time. The special effects are variable in quality, though I did like Uma Thurman as Medusa (pictured) having the definitive bad hair day.
Adults can amuse themselves deciding who gives the most God-awful performance as a deity – is it Steve Coogan as Hades, Kevin McKidd as Poseidon, or Sean Bean, even more preposterously miscast as Zeus?
The dialogue is mindless, the acting worse. My favourite moment comes towards the end, on a Las Vegas-style Mount Olympus, when Annabeth greets her mother, Athene Goddess of Wisdom, whom she has not seen for virtually her entire lifetime, with an offhand “Hey, mom!”
This is a collector’s item of contempt for its family audience, directed with blatant product placement by Chris Columbus, whose career continues its steep downward slide after the atrocious I Love You, Beth Cooper.
I notice with dismay that Rick Riordan’s shamelessly derivative novel, on which this is based, has sold by the million, but then so have the books of Dan Brown. I guess we get the trashy movies we deserve.
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