movie film review | chris tookey

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

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  Ghosts of Girlfriends Past Review
Tookey's Rating
1 /10
Average Rating
3.00 /10
Matthew McConaughey , Jennifer Garner , Michael Douglas
Full Cast >

Directed by: Mark Waters
Written by: Jon Lucas, Scott Moore

Released: 2009
Origin: US
Colour: C
Length: 105

A Dickens of a bad idea.
Reviewed by Chris Tookey

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Director Mark Waters started as more than promising. Early achievements included Freaky Friday and Mean Girls. Waters’ fifth movie is his first turkey. It’s a sleazy sex farce, with Matthew McConaughey (pictured left) obnoxious beyond the call of duty as Connor Mead, a handsome photographer who treats his staggeringly numerous girlfriends like dirt. He’s the kind of guy who interrupts having sex with one girl to end affairs with three others on a conference call, as he can’t be bothered to speak to each one individually. He has slightly less charm than the swine flu virus.

This appalling twerp attends the wedding rehearsal of his servile younger brother Paul (Breckin Meyer) who’s marrying Sandra (Lacey Chabert), a neurotic harpie who we’re meant to think is just right for him.

As three sex-crazed bridesmaids vie with each other for Connor’s allegedly irresistible body, Jenny (Jennifer Garner, right), the maid of honour, is brusque, showing that she must be his ideal woman.

At this point, the movie changes abruptly into a mind-bogglingly misogynistic remake of Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. On the night before the wedding, Connor is visited by the ghost of his sex-addict, lounge-lizard Uncle Wayne (Michael Douglas, not playing against type). Presumably Uncle Wayne has been condemned to Hell – which must involve having to watch a lot of movies like this – for he is determined to reform his nephew and, like that unlikeliest of concepts, a moralising Hugh Hefner, arranges for Connor to be taught three lessons in emotional commitment.

The screenplay is not the worst ever rip-off of A Christmas Carol. That would be Adam Sandler’s Eight Crazy Nights. However, it is by the formidably untalented Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, who did their best to spoil last year’s festive season with Four Christmases. For the second time in a row, they wallow in a sleazy view of human nature in general and women in particular, while delivering cheesy, patently insincere life-lessons about family, love and commitment.

In the worst performance of his career – and he was rightly ridiculed for Fool’s Gold and Failure To Launch - McConaughey plays Connor as so insufferable that Jenny would obviously be much better off with somebody else. Anybody else. Even Russell Brand would be an improvement.

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